Planting Seeds in Fertile Ground
I received a call last week from a school principal. She wanted to share a story – actually a testimonial – about one of our young campers from the 2010 program. Those who worked with this child will know her name even though I am not using it in this reflection. For this purpose I will just call her Sally.
Sally was brought to the principal by her teacher. She was having a serious problem with controlling her anger. After a cooling-off period of silence, the principal asked Sally about the problem and then asked her how she might handle things differently when she gets angry. Sally thought about the question and then responded – “Well, in camp this summer they taught me to take a deep breath when I start to get angry, and then count to 10 and take another deep breath. Then I should think about the words I say before I say them.” The principal asked, “What camp are you talking about?” She replied, “The Good Neighbors camp.” The principal took Sally back to her teacher, told her the story about Good Neighbors and asked her to give Sally prompts like she learned in camp anytime she begins to get angry.
The principal, who is a strong supporter of the Good Neighbors programs, was truly thrilled, and surprised, by Sally’s answers. To say the least, I was thrilled to hear the story. It isn’t often you learn about results of your efforts so soon.
This is a remarkable story. I would not have picked Sally as a child who learned anything this significant in the Good Neighbors program. She had just turned six years old in May and even seemed young for a six-year old. At times she was moody, uncooperative, displayed anger toward other children and was a behavior problem for her interns. As a last resort, she would be taken to Miss Shearer, the camp director, as punishment. And, she made many trips to spend time with Miss Shearer who worked patiently with her during the entire four-week camp.
One of the overarching themes during the camps is about living peaceably with one another. The interns, staff and volunteers model civility, respect, and good neighbor values in all interactions with each other and the children. This “way of being” is so important to us that the enrichment programs during the second week of camp (see the blog from week 2) are focused on Peace Education. I have wonderful memories and images (in my mind’s eye and on my computer) of Elizabeth, Alice Ann and the other interns teaching the children about the “anger escalator” and the “anger spectrum.” I can hear the kids say – “when I am really mad I go Ka Boom.” And then all the talks and puppet plays about what to do so you won’t go Ka Boom. All of this was reinforced in the work with the Roanoke Children’s Theatre who taught the kids theater skills using the theme – The Peaceful Child. And, they got even more reinforcement about the values of working together, solving problems peacefully together, listening to each other and respecting each other when the staff of Unbridled Change came to camp with two ponies and a horse to help teach the kids these skills. Who would have thought that you can teach such community-building skills with horses?
You never know when something you say, a behavior you model, a kindness you extend will make a difference. It is easy to see the effects of unkind, uncivil, angry, impersonal behavior. But, the impact of loving, patient (but firm) behaviors may take years to see. Sally’s story affirms for me the value of placing so much emphasis on the Good Neighbor value of living peaceably with ourselves and others.
Seeds of peace were planted in the fertile ground of a six-year old girl this summer; I can only wonder at how many other children were similarly affected. And, I would be remiss if I didn’t confess that these seeds of peace were also planted in my soul.
